There are many kinds of love, we are taught. When your spirit is pure and strong, you find a peculiar sort filling you up. It is so easy to love, you love everyone who touches you. It is odd though, because it is a love that can walk away. Love, that shattering force for joy and pain, it is strange when it is translucent. It is strange when it flows so easily that you have to manage it so as not to get torn in too many pieces. It is strange to feel it and know it is not the love that endures, the love we hope will be the basis for a lasting relationship, even the love that comes when we work at making a relationship last. To realise that you are a danger to those who do not realise, those that would naturally think the love that is pouring out is for them alone, is a peculiar thing. So what is the "big love"...? I think it is a lie. Love has to flow through you, you have to be love, not try to be in love, or try to love. Love has been perverted to limit its power, diverted to create a slightly stable social structure, and denied in order to maintain all the power bases we have built in our darker moments. If you undo the bad programming, the false premises, and let love flow through you, you will find yourself not alone, not anxious for a mate, not concerned with aiming your love at (and getting it from) one "special person." For are we not all "special?" Now what about the intimacies of the actual unique relationships in our lives? Am I arguing that no one bond should have a higher priority? Well, probably not. Some people are going to touch us more than others, we will tend to gravitate towrds them, spend more time with them and on them, and what could be wrong with that? We may have lovers, one or several. Sometimes I think it is certainly going to occur that one lover is also a very special and unique sort of friend - and that one person is going to deserve a special and unique place in our social pantheon. Do we have to promise "til death do us part" to fulfill this bond? Of course not. We may feel as if we never want to move on - but that is now, and how can we know how we will feel in the future? The feeling of not wanting to change, and even worse the desire to hear from them that they will never leave is more symptomatic of insecurity and a lack of the flow of love than it is of a bond that truly will endure. 7/13/00 
© Huw Powell
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