coarse days crueler than long cold nights
can't remember when they end
gradually sliding, passed unnoticed
slowly losing older friends

how are you doing they ask
as always oh just fine
really not much, things missing here
something that doesn't mind

strangers still they sense this too
like they're all the only one
hope here collapses, very slowly
all beaten by the tired drum

life only curls its smile in passing
outstretched but out of sight
color is momentary, a swirl but then
time greys it back to black and white

looking through a cloud like sleep
dreams repeat the same cliches
there's no edge, no feeling things
seeming that they always fade

people pressing in too hard
this loneliness will understand
there should be space, but none around
ashes fall from open hands

whispers creeping by unheard
thought half unfolds then pulls away
the rules were lost, so long ago
to games that we don't even play

weary goes the daily due
same thing every month and year
this tired breath is heavy yet
the grey blanket smothers any tears

(scrawled on an old diner order slip)

date unknown.